This meditation is a way to experiment with sensing and recognizing different gradations of awareness.  We all experience the sudden recognition of “where was I” in the midst of meditation.  Here we are looking at the different gradation of awareness as it focuses in and out, and how our body might also reflect the different gradations of awareness.  If we see awareness as “black and white,” meaning we are either aware or we are not, we miss the many shades of awareness.  When I am aware that I lost my awareness, awareness is automatically present – as awareness of non-awareness…  Because of that, the more options I have in recognizing awareness, the more likely I am to be able to come back to awareness.

We then apply the details we discovered to a more applied meditative situation.  In this case Tong Len – the practice of Taking and Sending.  In traditional Tong Len, one places in one’s mind a situation of suffering, and then visualizes thick black smoke arising from the suffering and entering one’s body, into the heart.  One breathes in the thick black smoke of suffering, and breathes out white healing light, until the smoke dissipates and all that is left is the white light.

Tong Len is often thought of as a variation on Metta (love) meditation.  But it is also serves as a training ground for equanimity.  We train in taking in that which we dislike and pull away from – the black smoke, the suffering – and to not hold on to, and give away that which is pleasant, that which we tend to want to keep – the white light.  It is a training in being in touch with suffering.

One might find that sending white, healing, light is easier for them than breathing in the black smoke.  One might find that one is breathing in smoke and breathing white light but is no longer in tough with the suffering , as the mind tends to escape touching suffering.  So here again, one finds many gradations, many variations, in one’s focus and awareness.  It is not all or nothing.  By becoming aware of the more subtle gradations, we acquire more tools for building up our awareness, or steadiness, and our capacity to be in touch with suffering.